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In the Gospel reading this weekend, we see Jesus feel one of the most difficult emotions of the human experience: deep despair and mourning. His good friend, Lazarus, has died, and the sisters of the deceased, Mary and Martha, have come to Jesus in disbelief, each saying, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”
It can be so easy to be like the sisters and accuse Jesus of deserting us. “Where were you, Lord? How could you let that happen? If you had been with me, I wouldn’t have been hurt so badly. Why can’t I hear your voice? Are you even there?” However, Mary and Martha then give us two different examples of how this conversation with the Lord can continue. Martha said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But even now I know that whatever you ask of God, God will give you.” Though Martha is hurting and mourning the death of her brother, she maintains her strong faith, and boldly proclaims that God hears Jesus’ pleas. Mary, on the other hand, wept at Jesus’s feet after saying, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” Rather than growing frustrated or angry at this statement, Jesus meets Mary in her sorrow and weeps with her.
Martha exemplifies strong faith that Jesus has the power to perform a miracle, while Mary’s faith is shown in her sharing her pain with Jesus and allowing him to mourn with her. Both women, though deeply saddened, turned towards Jesus and invited him into their situation at that moment. May they be great examples of faith for us in times of sadness, stress, or fear. Jesus, hold us in our pain and hear our prayers.
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Welcome back Bees!
We are in the final months of the semester so it is CRUNCH TIME! As we return to classes and begin these last few months of school, we often find ourselves making decisions about the next steps in our lives. These may be baby steps like choosing our classes for next semester, choosing our housing, or deciding how we will spend our summer break. Or they may be big steps like finding our first full time job after graduation, applying to grad schools, or even completely changing our major. This can be a scary but exciting time.
I myself am in the same boat. In the Spring, I will be graduating from the Master’s of Social Work program! As I apply for jobs, prepare for licensure exams and try to figure everything out, there are times I feel overwhelmed with emotions. I question if I am making the right decisions, and I sometimes wonder if I'll be good at the work I will do. These thoughts and questions remind me of my Junior year here at St. Ambrose.
When I came to St. Ambrose, I was originally a nursing major and did pretty well up until my sophomore year when I took Microbiology and Anatomy ... if you know you know. I found these classes very challenging and ended up having to retake them. I found myself skipping classes because I was frustrated and did not want the additional stress of being there. I started to think I wasn't good enough or smart enough to be a nurse and wondered “Why am I even here?” The semester went on, and I had to retake the Anatomy class online over the summer. I was hoping to still be able to start the Nursing program in the Fall.
I came back to St. Ambrose and was ready for a fresh start, a new semester and the Nursing Program. Well, I thought I was … the day before classes started, I received a phone call from the Nursing Department. They called to inform me that my GPA was just below the 3.0 that was required to start. So many emotions flooded my mind, and I felt like a failure. I came to St. Ambrose as a Nursing major - I had taken the courses, worked as a CNA, and done everything I needed to do. God had a different plan.
Throughout that fall semester, I was searching for answers. What was I supposed to do? I turned to prayer and relied on my CampusMinistry community. I had been in a small group with two older students, and we read reflections from a book called “Praying with Mother Teresa." I still had that book and found it on my desk one afternoon. I opened the reflection titled “Trust in God”. The reflection talked about Mother Teresa and her decision to leave behind her happy life as a missionary sister of Our Lady of Loreto. A line that stuck out to me was, “She knew that she had to go where God was calling her, but she did not know how to get there.” I read that line and tears began to swell my eyes. This was exactly how I felt, and it was a scary time. I had to trust Him.
I went on with the semester and decided to change my major to Psychology. While things did not immediately get better, I found myself enjoying my classes more because I understood what was going on. I was interested in what I was learning and started to be myself again. When it came time for graduation, I started to think of what I would do post graduation. I again was nervous, but I felt called to apply for the Master’s of Social Work program at St. Ambrose, and now I will be walking on the stage in May! So wherever you are in your journey and whatever decisions you are making right now, I encourage you to know that God has a plan for your life. While we may not know where he is leading us, we must trust him. He will not lead you astray and will always provide.
